On Your Own

Happy Tuesday #Jontourage,

Welcome back to the “Classy Gent Chronicles”, where staying classy is the only way to be.  Let's jump right into it....

Since the beginning of time, the acceptance and approval of others has been a major priority.  When looking at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, belongingness is ranked third.  By belongingness, it means the ability to have and maintain relationships is important to us as humans.  When it comes to our family’s approval, this becomes crucial.  Every child longs for the infamous “atta boy”, “good job”, or “I’m proud of you” from their family.  So what about the kids who grow up into adults and rarely or never hear those words of approval?  It often takes their life into a tailspin because they need somebody to make them feel loved and accepted.  The same thing happens in dating, partners who often cheat need to feel a sense of belonging so they go elsewhere when they are not getting it in their relationships. 
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For the folks that decided to follow our dreams, they are often met with backlash from our family.  Some people are even left with having to make one of the toughest decisions of all time, chase your dreams or stay on good terms with your family.  Let’s look at the reasons families may not support you in your ideas:

1. Poorly planned idea- An idea is one thing but turning that idea into a reality is a whole other thing.  Many times, people have great ideas but have missed so many details that they need to actually make this work.  If you go to your family saying you want to start your own automotive business, you realistically cannot start with only $250 saved up.  Your family may have concerns about how little thought you have given to this idea even though you feel like you did think of everything.
2. Lack of dedication- Time after time again, your family has seen you come up with an idea and not complete it.  You are excited for the first week then presto, the motivation is gone.  In your garage are a ton of prototypes that never actually came to life because you do not finish things you start.  At this point, your family is probably tired of hearing about your ideas they assume won’t go anywhere even though you say “I’m serious this time”.  How many “this time” phrases have there been?
3. Too Stubborn- Let’s say you lucky and get a family who does get it and actually wants to help you.  You are one of the lucky ones.  However, a quick way to alienate people and lose support is by never listening to the advice of others and being a know-it-all.  If you are new to something, it would be best to listen to the advice that others with more life experience have to give you.  It does not mean everything they say is golden.   However, they have been around the block a little bit longer.
4. Too sensitive- In the world of business, being a nice guy can be very difficult.  There are people are willing to do anything for the sale.  The visual and performing arts are not much better considering everyone is looking for their big break and will literally steal your idea to get there.  If you are overly sensitive, you can just forget about the world of politics.  Your family may know you to be a very sensitive person and they may feel you cannot handle the harshness of the profession you chose. 
5. Jealousy- Although the concept no one wants to accept but jealousy does happen within families.  Sometimes, you parent is resentful that you are chasing your dreams at 25 year olds and they were raising an unplanned child at 25 year olds.  Sometimes jealousy comes from siblings or cousins who have not found their path in life or have been unsuccessful in their endeavors.  It can be hard for some to applaud your efforts when they are watching their own life wither away.
6. Financial expectations of your family- It is okay to pitch an idea to someone that you have but the conversation changes when you need that person to be an active participant in making this work.  Asking your parents for $1000 to start this business no longer makes them just the spectator family, this makes them an investor since it is their money. Even if it is not money, it could be their resources.  If you want to start a car wash business but you plan to use their water, are you planning to compensate them for their water bill now increasing?

My golden formula for support from other people is as follows:

Your level of commitment- 1= Your support level from other people

Moral of the story:  The formula I gave is the max support you will get from someone.  If you get a five star effort, you will get at best four star support.  If you are only giving a one star effort, you can imagine how the rest of the world will receive the idea.  No one will ever take your project more seriously than you will.  Change your work ethic and watch things change for you.
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Remember, in order to live out your dreams, you have to think it, feel it, live it!  Until next time, stay classy...